N.B. Austin

Author of the Civilands Series

Fun Creative Stuff

Star Wars: The Rise of Emperor Devil Mouse

I did not see Star Wars: the Rise of Skywalker and I never will.

That said, if you feel the need to say any of the following (and/or if you’re Rian Johnson), please leave this website and never return:

“ThEn HoW cAn YoU sAy It’S bAd?!”

“WeLl ThEn YoU’rE jUsT a ToXiC fAn!”

“YoU jUsT hAtE rEy CuZ yOu DrInK hAtErAdE, yOu HaTeR! i HaTe YoU!”

“StAr WaRs Is FoR kIdS, mAn BaBy!”

Great. Now that the shills are gone, let’s get to discussing what used to be one of the most iconic stories ever put to film.

Warning: *SPOILERS* coming, though they’d only be depressing to see play out in theaters anyway…

The Death of All Skywalkers and the Victory of the Palpatines

For anyone surprised by the twist in Star Wars: the Rise of Skywalker that Rey is Palpatine’s granddaughter, welcome to Disney!

Here at Disney we have one simple mission: to drain the life force out of every property we acquire until nothing remains but a lifeless shell of anything good that once existed within it. So, of course, it was in our company’s DNA to subvert the entire series-defining prophecy of Star Wars. In our view, Emperor Palpatine and his bloodline surviving Anakin Skywalker’s redemption was destiny.

Now some of you might be wondering: “Well wait a second… what’s the value of that? Wouldn’t that devalue your company if you don’t focus on telling good, coherent stories? Why would people pay to watch the villains win?”

While these are logical questions, profit is only the most surface level of our aims as a corporation. We who don the iconic mouse ears think much bigger.

The Rise and Eternal Reign of Satan

Starting to see the connection yet? No? That’s okay! You’ll get there over the course your career here at Disney Corp. With guidance from tens of thousands of soul-sucked colleagues (zombies), you’ll lose track of everything true and good before you know it.

While the First Order might have been worse than sub-par at monitoring their Storm Troopers, we ensure full indoctrination, and our track record proves it. On your first day, head over to Kathleen Kennedy’s office, where the walls are simply covered with “the force is female” posters, t-shirts, and stickers. The head of Lucasfilm, whose internal-only title is “Reich Minister of Propaganda,” is at the very forefront of pushing worldwide gender resentment.

We also know that the gender war we’re stirring up can be a heavy topic for some. But to lighten the mood, look no further than our CEO Bob Iger, who recently published a nice book in which he admitted to subverting the expectations of actual creator and visionary, George Lucas. George went on to call Disney, “white slavers,” but we resent that remark. At Disney we go above and beyond to ensure we never discriminate those we enslave based on race or any other category of people!

Welcome to Disney (Hell)

Star Wars: The Rise of SkywalkerTruth. Creativity. Originality. Morality. These are words we have no use for here at the wonderful world of Disney.

Subversion is the only way. Without it, we would have never been able to create the character Rey Palpatine. And without Rey, Emperor Palpatine would have never been struck down so he could live on forever. Mission accomplished. High fives all around.

And if to this you say, “but he died from his own lightning so she didn’t kill him,” great job and we’re glad to have you aboard! Now go out into the world, bite ankles, and get us the rights to the Lord of the Rings franchise. We really want to bring Sauron back so he can win and we can kill off a much more bitter, hopeless old Frodo Baggins.

*

Thanks for reading!

This post was obviously tongue in cheek, but one thing I don’t want to do is push despair. Disney’s “Star Wars” sucks and always will. That’s okay though. Instead of letting this get us down and complaining, let’s create new, better stories. That’s how my writing journey began and I hope you join me.

Whether you’re a story consumer or a fellow story teller, tune in to the Tuesday Night Fiction podcast for similar content and/or check out the Civilands series for an epic fantasy western!

Game of Thrones Review: “The Bells” Could Have Been Great If…

Game of Thrones Review, "The Bells"

Another day, another Game of Thrones review. Episode 5 of the series eighth and final season, “The Bells,” was the culmination of the series as the battle for the Iron Throne comes to a head.

Now, so far in season 8 there have been plenty of mixed reactions from viewers. The theme of the show opposing that of the books is one major point of contention. Others include clunky battle scenes and a lack of character resolution.

But I don’t want to focus on anything other than episode 5 and what led to it here. If these very simple tweaks were made, I think “The Bells” could have been one of the best moments of the entire Game of Thrones series.

And be sure to read through to the end, as I saved the most important issue for last!

***WARNING: GAME OF THRONES REVIEW WITH SPOILERS AHEAD***

1. Euron and Jamie: “That’s a Kill!”

Bill the Butcher, Gangs of New York

Where do I begin with this horrible fan-service nonsense? The skirmish between Euron and Jamie should have never happened for too many reasons to count.

First off, how fortunate for us fans for Euron and Euron alone to wash up on shore right at Jamie’s exact place and time after he had to trek through all of King’s Landing to get there. Good Lord of Light, how stupid must the writers think the audience is to suspend so much disbelief? Especially considering how all the other main characters also washed up on shore when their ships were destroyed in the previous episode, I’d say naval warfare seems pretty pointless in this show.

Next, and I might have missed this or something so if I did please tell me in the comments, but how the hell did Jamie even get here? I thought there was some kind of conflict emerging with him appearing to not get into the city when the others were flooding in, but then he somehow did get in? Or did he not and take a back way? I don’t know, whatever.

The most nauseating thing though was subversion for the sake of subversion. Not only does this fight have to happen somehow, but our expectations have to be subverted by Jamie losing at first. And not only does he have to lose, Euron has to land TWO kill shots. Because if we learned anything from Bill the Butcher in Gangs of New York, “that’s a kill! Not a wound!”

. . . Oh yeah, and then Jamie lives, finds Cersei, and never succumbs to his pointless “wounds.” Again, I don’t know, whatever.

My Solution:

Remove this fight. Euron dies in the ocean because who cares about him anyway? We haven’t been built up to hate him to anywhere near the same extent we had been with a Ramsey Bolton type of character. Fire would do just fine, especially since he took down a dragon.

2. Cleganebowl: The Hound (And Arya) Deserved Better

I don’t dislike that the battle between the Hound and the Mountain happened, but the way it unfolded could have been way better.

To start, the Hound and Arya make what would have been a harrowing entry into King’s Landing. They continued from there on an improbable (at best) march all the way through a battle and to the Red Keep. Then, when they arrive and all hell breaks loose with Daenerys, the Hound convinces Arya to leave.

No problems with any of this so far. Arya being scared is not the least bit surprising and the goodbye between the two characters was a good moment.

However, the goodbye between the two characters implied the Hound will fulfill Arya’s wishes in her absence. This makes Cersei walking right past him without any issue absurd to me. Why not just set it up where she gets away or something? Also, what is Arya thanking him for if not for his trying to handle what she’d have otherwise come all this way to handle?

So Cersei walks off and the other minions are dead and we get the fight we’ve been waiting for. But the end of said fight wasn’t as satisfying as it could have been, with the Hound tackling the Mountain through a wall and landing in a fire.

Now the fire is meant to be significant, right? Because the Hound is supposed to be afraid of fire, right? Well sure, it would be: if the Hound knew the fire was there.

My Solution:

Make Cersei get away literally any other way than just walking right past the Hound. Maybe have the Mountain attack first and allow her the opportunity to escape? Anything really. I don’t care if you feel the need to have a phantom piece of debris disorient the Hound for a second, or maybe a distracting albino squirrel singing the blues runs past him to catch his eye while she runs off. Anything.

Also, make the Hound see the fire below BEFORE he tackles the Mountain into it. Make it a meaningful choice to face both his fears of his brother and fire at the same time. Overcoming it in his most crucial moment while earning Arya’s appreciation would complete his entire story to the fullest.

3. Jamie Cheats on Brienne With Cersei

Again, I don’t dislike that the reunion and demise of Jamie and Cersei occurred, but how they got there felt off.

It starts in the previous episode with a far too sudden separation of Jamie and Brienne. All prior indications pointed to them staying together and his arc to righteousness being completed. There were no hints whatsoever of second thoughts on his part and if there were they were way too subtle. Nonetheless, Jamie runs off and leaves Brienne behind.

Now, praise where praise is due: the best part of Jamie’s return to his sister comes when he finds Tyrion. The goodbye between Tyrion and Jamie was one of the best moments in this episode and series. Everything about Tyrion in this episode was great, given the direction taken to this point of his plans failing as much as they have.

My Solution:

There should have been clear signs of Jamie’s feelings in one of two directions:

  1. He was bored of Brienne. Maybe the sex isn’t what it was with Cersei? Maybe he resented the prospect of living life in the north? Whatever it is, let us see it. His abandonment of her shouldn’t be a surprise to us, even if it is to her.
  2. He still has love for Brienne and is upfront with her that he just can’t let his pregnant sister die alone. She could still resent him for making this decision now, but at least it would be consistent with both the bond they’ve developed and the way we’ve seen him grow. There’s no reason to hurt her if his heart is still good and we’d still understand his leaving for Cersei.

While I like the impact his decision to leave her has on Brienne as a character (it makes sense she’d break down since she’s a virgin and her feelings for him are unfamiliar), it needs to not be so sudden. Either solution above would work.

Beyond that I think everything else is good (obviously besides Euron). I just felt like by the time he got to Cersei I lost track of who Jamie Lannister really was.

4. Nice Horse, Where’d You Find It?

Game of Thrones Review
“Hey”

This wasn’t a huge deal and I really don’t mean to nitpick little things in this post. At the same time though, there was just something off about that fancy white horse being there. It didn’t feel right in a city of dust and ashes. I know I’m not the only person to think this too. Maybe it was because it didn’t look like it was as disheveled as everything else in the scene. Not totally sure.

Because I need to point out greatness though, the makeup and costume design for Arya here was beyond brilliant. Not only is the blood and dirt on point, but her hair and attire is so Ned Stark it’s mind boggling. Being that she’s in King’s Landing and struggling through the streets the way he had here, the connection couldn’t be more on point.

My solution:

Remove the horse and focus more on her walk back out of the city. It would be way more grueling to see Arya limping and shell shocked. We aren’t used to seeing her intimidated this way so it would have a way bigger impact to drag that out. Also because, let’s be real, she’s the only likable character left at this point.

5. The Easiest Battle in the History of the Seven Kingdoms

One dragon is all it took in the end. The unsullied weren’t really necessary. The fleets weren’t necessary. The Dothraki weren’t . . . wait . . . the Dothraki didn’t die in the charge during the Long Night? And even if there were more, there are still this many? Oh, okay.

Even with those big bolts Cersei had for dragon killing on her ships and walls, even after Dany and the dragon stood right in front of Cersei ripe for the killing in the episode before, even though we were told the armies were apparently even in size, it was all just way too easy.

Also, what was with the explosion when Drogon flanks the troops at the gates of the castle? Were explosives set up for if the walls were breached? If so, shouldn’t they have been green, which is the color I associated with Cersei’s explosives throughout the episode? Because I’m not buying that was just dragon flames. Something exploded but we don’t know why other than it totally looked so cool and stuff.

My Solution:

As bad as these guys have proven to be at constructing sensible battle sequences, this should have been way more of a struggle at first.

I’ll go into this more in the following and final point, but it would have also justified Dany’s final turn more if the actual conflict was more difficult. Perhaps the last of the Dothraki do fall? This would symbolize the end of a powerful alliance she formed during her ascent. Perhaps Drogon, her final dragon, gets injured once or twice? This could lead to Drogon acting more erratic, which would in turn further spurn Dany into the rage we come to see from her.

And so we reach the biggest missed opportunity of the episode . . .

6. MOST IMPORTANT: Dany’s Unearned Madness

Let me start by saying I love the idea of Daenerys burning King’s Landing to the ground. It fits her character’s trajectory and it makes sense under the right circumstances.

Dany has lost several friends, survived assassination attempts, and overcome those who doubted her on her long journey to rule the Seven Kingdoms. For her to successfully take the city of King’s Landing, only to be rejected by the very people she sought for so long to liberate, it would be a logical breaking point.

And while this seemed like it might have been the intent of the writers, it was not what played out on screen.

Instead, Daenerys is simply told about the opinions of “the people” by Varys, who is promptly executed. The problem with this is that Dany never trusted noblemen and we don’t even get a clear message she’s unwanted. Her heart, in contrast to all other characters in the show, was always with “the people.” For her to now flip without evidence other than the words of this person she deems disposable is totally out of character.

This is why when the bells ring and we see her light up everyone in between her dragon’s perch and the Red Keep, all of whom are begging for mercy in the lead up, we don’t understand her decision.

My solution:

I was on the edge of my seat when Daenerys Stormborn Of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and The First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons stared down the Red Keep. It was going to be the epic end of a show’s worth of Lannister rule. Cersei’s decision to sacrifice her people was going to come back to bite her because there would be no surrender granted to her.

So we’re just going to pretend the Game of Thrones writer’s made that happen. Dany flies Drogon straight at the Red Keep and burns it all to the ground.

“The people” in this case are liberated and Dany takes the city. Only now, word of Varys’s letter about Jon has gotten out and with her army weakened, the people of King’s Landing demand the rightful king take his place. The survivors of Cersei’s Golden Company, numerous still due to the surrender, take their side as well. The more vocal the cries get for her to leave the more an injured, erratic Drogon starts to react, and before the first person is burned, Dany’s hatred for them is solidified. Because if “the people” are against her, then everyone is against her, and power is the only thing this “rightful ruler” has left to seek.

Conclusion

This could have really been one of the best episodes in the entire Game of Thrones series, especially given the trajectory the writers decided to take with the White Walkers. It was set up to have major character resolutions for most of the main characters we’ve been following for eight seasons. It is my sincere hope that the payoffs in next week’s finale feel more satisfying because this has certainly been one of the best shows I’ve ever followed to this point.

The above have been my opinions on how this episode could have been significantly strengthened, which I hope you enjoyed. If so, or if not, or if somewhat, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

*

Thank you for reading my Game of Thrones review!

If you enjoyed this content, you might also enjoy the Civilands series and the Tuesday Night Fiction audio book podcast. The series is best described as Game of Thrones meets Gangs of New York meets Manifest Destiny. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below and feel free to subscribe for more blog updates.

My Directorial Debut: What to do If You Have a Hankering

Two years ago I went through a period of transition. It took about six months to center myself and figure out what I was really made of. What I liked; what I wanted out of life; the things that made me tick at the core. When those months passed I came to a conclusion. I love entertainment, nothing inspires me as much as fantastic stories and I admire the creators of those stories. So I decided then and there I was going to write. Not only was I going to write though. One day I was going to make my directorial debut and see my work translated onto a screen.

Directorial Debut

Well, a year-and-a-half later, here I am. With three written books as inspiration, I have secured everything I need to direct my first live-action trailer today!

I can’t wait to get started and share the result of a ton of effort with you. For now though, I want to talk about what goes into such a project and the most important lesson I’ve learned so far.

How to make a trailer

This section might not come as a surprise or revelation to some. Having never been involved in a visual production though, it was all pretty new to me. Hopefully it might provide insight to any others who are as ignorant as I was. 🙂

  • Script – this was pretty easy with a book already in place. It was even easier to pick a scene since the opening of the book is intense. A screenplay’s format is much different from a novel’s. However, a combination of Masterclass and examples/notes on Google taught me what I needed to know.
  • Storyboard – if you want to simplify the shoot x 1,000, you need a storyboard to plan the shots. Especially if your team is hourly, this saves a ton of money, as well as time. I just found pictures on Google that looked like the scene I wanted, then scouted the locations that fit.
  • Background music – find a song to fit the mood, but be sure you also have the rights. I was fortunate in this regard, since the song I made was one I recorded myself for the series.
  • Actor(s)/Actress(es) – someone’s gotta be in it if it’s live-action and be honest with yourself, you’re no Daniel-Day Lewis. Contacting the local theater is a great place to start.
  • Videographer(s) – I happen to know two who jumped at the opportunity to help, though one’s family and the other is one of my best friends. Still, with technology being what it is now, you don’t need a master to make something high quality.
  • Equipment – cameras and such were borrowed/owned by the film crew. Costumes were the only real expense and were dirt cheap for the scene I was looking to create.
  • Set – finding the right spot takes time. Mine was outdoors so plenty of scouting eventually landed the right locations.

The most important lesson

Let’s be brief. I am a member of a bunch of author/creative/entrepreneur groups. Most of which said the ROI of a book trailer wouldn’t be worth it. I’m only just getting started and I can tell you that’s complete bullshit.

Financially, I have no concept of what the outcome will be. It also doesn’t matter to me in the slightest way. If you want to create something and you have the means to do it, you do it. There is no better feeling than creating something you put your heart into. The return on that alone is immeasurable.

It’s more than that though. If you work on something exciting to you, in any form, you are far more likely to find greater success. There are countless stories of this and I have past examples of my own. For a higher profile example though, look no further than Tommy Wiseau of The Room and The Disaster Artist fame. After investing $6 million in The Room, a movie widely accepted as a “disaster,” Wiseau has by-now re-couped his investment. So if you need “success” to justify everything you do and don’t think you could achieve it in a million years with your creative idea, ask yourself, “what about after a million?”

Now please, go out, watch The Room and the Disaster Artist (highly recommend both), and create. I know I will be and am so excited to continue showing you what comes of it!

Thank you for reading and for everyone’s continued support for the Civilands series. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, feel free to subscribe for more blog updates, and click here for free book giveaways, including best-sellers!

How Star Wars: ‘The Last Jedi’ Should Have Went

The Last Jedi

I’d like to start right off the bat by saying there will be spoilers in this post. If you haven’t seen ‘The Last Jedi’ yet, feel free to close out of this page. Or, better yet, continue here for more content, including a FREE book! 🙂

For those who remain, let’s get to the event we’ve all been waiting two years for!

There were tons of questions left open by Star Wars Episode VII: ‘The Force Awakens.’ Who is Supreme Leader Snoke? Who is Rey? Why is Luke in exile? What made Kylo Ren turn to the dark side?

Well, as we found out after seeing the Last Jedi, we are still left with questions. This time: Who is Supreme Leader Snoke? Who is Rey? Why is Luke in exile? What made Kylo Ren turn to the dark side? Ok, some of these might have been answered. But they were mostly answered in the least satisfying, character-consistent way possible.

As such, with this post I wanted to re-imagine the story as one I think is more fitting of the series as a whole. This obviously is not Star Wars canon, nor is it a scene-by-scene alternative re-telling. Instead, I focus on the high-level plot-lines of the main characters and how I think they could have been significantly improved.

First, the little things I took issue with and would remove from the Last Jedi

  1. The Disney universe – I actually enjoyed the porgs more than BB-8, especially in this movie. However, from the ice dogs, to the horse/hammer-head shark looking things, to the island nuns, there was far too many cute Disney creatures in this movie. I know this kind of thing existed in the old movies too, but there was a much better, less distracting balance of cute and ugly in the Lucas universe.
  2. The extent of comedy – When you’re rolling your eyes comparing Star Wars to the Avengers, there is a serious problem. I mean, for Christ sake, the movie started off with a prank call. Not to mention eventually seeing Luke milk some random thing, which was more awkward than funny. Not only that, but what was it meant to tell us about his character? Again, Star Wars has always had light-hearted moments. But this movie took it a step further, even trivializing sequences that formed the main plot-line (Hux questioning his ship’s capabilities).
  3. Rose Tico and Ms. Purple Hair – I didn’t know Roses’ name when I walked out of the theater and I still don’t know Ms. Purple Hair’s. Roses’ storyline is not only pointless to the story, her serving as a love-interest to Finn was horribly forced. By the time she knocked his ship out of the air from the laser I found myself hating Finn too for even reciprocating. As for Purple Hair, why is a character no one knows and who acts in such a bi-polar manner the one who gets the most epic death? Really killed the moment for me as it didn’t exactly feel like a loss for the Resistance.
  4. Other issues – There are plenty, but these are the three less tied to the major plot. Consider them all trashed.

So how should the Last Jedi have went instead?

The movie’s opening is solid as is. Poe’s fight to take down that super-destroyer-thing was very well done, especially character-wise. I loved the conflict in his risk taking and being able to see the immediate impact on his comrades. Great way to set his story.

Once the the bombs are dropped on the destroyer, this is where we start to really shift.

Side note: for your reference, standard font will represent review of the story and italics will represent how I think the story should have went.

Finn and Captain Phasma

What happened in the film

First of all, the fact that this entire movie is based on a slow-speed “chase” is absurd. It’s only made worse when General Hux questions the point of his destroyer if it can’t catch up to and destroy a small ship. This chase extends even further into a lengthy sub-plot with Finn and random fan-girl named Rose, which itself ends up pointless.

What should have happened

I say cut the Disney-universe nonsense out, including the character Rose altogether. Also, make General Hux less of a cranky little bitch who can’t run a decent evil operation.

As for the protagonist, Finn’s feelings for Rey, a more natural connection, will be what puts him in danger. Finn’s desperation to find her will be recognized by Poe Dameron, in a discussion between the two following Finn’s recovery. Un-phased by Poe’s warnings, Finn WILL flee the ship with Leia’s beacon to find Rey. However, his escape pod will be detected and tracked by none other than the entirely-underused Captain Phasma, on orders of Kylo Ren.

Unsure of how to utilize the beacon, Finn will try his hardest to find answers by eventually seeking out . . . a code breaker! Only this time he won’t magically stumble upon one in prison, who can easily break out but waits for no reason at all to do so until some heroes come along (*sigh*). No, after being found on a tip in Finn’s travels, DJ will reveal the location of Ahch-To, only to later sell him out to Captain Phasma. She will capture him just as they are about to fly onto Luke’s island planet.

The conflict between Phasma and Finn will develop both characters in a sort of rivalry. For Phasma, this would mean showing as a more competent, relevant villain. For Finn, we’ll see a longing for what he’s really after since being disowned as a storm trooper: some kind of real connection. When they find Ahch-To, this is where their fight will come to a head as Finn is forced to watch Kylo and his Knights of Ren descend on the planet. More about what comes next in the climax 😉

Kylo and Snoke

What happened in the film

I’ll keep it short for Snoke (probably also what Rian Johnson said when writing the script). He is apparently all-powerful besides when it comes to peripheral vision/hearing. He also has no backstory at all or story-line other than being an insignificant plot-device for Kylo. Out of all the theories people developed for Snoke, Johnson’s was the least interesting or clever.

On the other hand, Kylo was the only character I came away from the movie somewhat liking. The idea he wants to end the Jedi AND Sith is one that fits his personality and I find to be an interesting twist.

The connection between him and Rey is ok, until we find out it was “created” by Snoke-the-pitiful. Also, the emotional side of him is overdone just a hair. I still have a lot of respect for Adam Driver as an actor (see the movie Paterson). But the teen angst could have been toned down a notch since he’s already made his full turn to the dark side after killing his father.

What should have happened

In the scene where Kylo goes to attack Leia’s rebel ship, he still doesn’t shoot. However, his trailing TIE fighters don’t either. This way, we can avoid the ridiculous scene of Leia fake dying before floating through space. This failure to shoot will also set up the conflict with Snoke, who is angered Kylo didn’t act.

A confrontational scene between the two will see Kylo face-to-face with Snoke and his Imperial Guards. Snoke questions Kylo on his weakness and he defends himself, claiming he didn’t have a clear shot. With a sideways grin, Snoke claims to be aware of his plan to find Luke, but also of his history with the powerful Rey. After he failed to defeat Rey in their previous clash and now failing to kill Leia, he is given one more chance for redemption with an order to deliver Rey to Snoke.

This would make evident Snoke’s sinister interest in Rey’s abilities. It would further be incentive for Kylo to find a way to eliminate Snoke, knowing the ways of the Sith to betray their apprentices out of jealousy. The tension here is the beginning of Kylo’s desire to kill the past ways of the Jedi and Sith.

Rey and Luke

What happened in the film

Another thing I loved about ‘The Last Jedi’ was Luke’s minuscule flashes of Yoda-like qualities. Tossing the light-saber away as soon as she handed it to him was one highlight.

On the other hand, his pessimism and strange behavior was as obnoxious as it was out of character. I mean, based on EVERYTHING in Star Wars canon, Luke’s behavior in this movie was textbook dark side. Especially the part of almost killing Kylo at the temple. Even if he didn’t kill him, the impure thought of doubt and fear is what constitutes falling to the dark side within a force user.

Because of this, it didn’t really seem like he taught Rey much of anything. Actually, she seemed to be the one who taught him, which makes no sense considering where she is in her development at this point.

Also, WHY WHY WHY was the search for Rey’s parents even a point of discussion if they were no one important? I’ve been told “because the new message is you don’t need to come from royalty to be a Jedi.” Ok, well did Yoda, Obi-Wan, Mace Windu, or any other Jedi in any Star Wars movie come from royalty we were made aware of? The only familial bond was Luke, Anakin, Leia, and Padme for obvious reasons. If Rey’s origin is irrelevant, don’t waste scenes on it just to deliver anti-climax.

By the time the Jedi texts are burned, everything we knew of the Star Wars universe is questioned/ignored. This might be an intentional departure, but it has only one impact on Star Wars as a whole: it trivializes all previous episodes before it. THAT is the biggest issue with this movie, which is (in name alone) a part of a series.

What should have happened

The initial relationship in my story would have been more Yoda-like, with Luke not being reluctant or depressed whatsoever. A sprinkle of silly and senile in his age, maybe. But only a sprinkle. He would also have a clear purpose in having come to Ahch-To: for the person he had sensed will turn the tide on the First Order (in this case, Rey) to find him in a place not easily detected.

We maintain a somewhat comic mentor/mentee air to provide contrast of the two and thus, strengthen Rey’s transformation. This will include more training on the force and no silly pit with a 1,000 way mirror but zero answers. It won’t include jedi texts either. The most important aspect of Rey’s training will be Luke’s driving her toward remembering who she really is. Our story’s twists begin when we learn it is an identity he is aware of . . .

As her training continues, Rey grows frustrated he will not simply tell her. It leads to tension and struggles in her training which will actually contribute to growth in her character. In one heated session, the two connect and she is brought to a memory from Luke’s temple–she was there.

Not only was she there though, Rey realizes she approached the temple as one of Kylo’s Knights of Ren.

Finally, Rey’s ‘origin’

This initial realization freaks Rey out and she runs off from Luke in a panic. After a tense solitary scene of internal conflict, Rey recalls the rest of her story.

Rey was from Jakku originally. She grew up there and dreamed of a bigger life, only slightly aware of the abilities she was beginning to exhibit. One day, Kylo Ren, along with a group of young jedi came to Jakku and sought her out. Sensing her power, Kylo offered her a place among his Knights, a group of force sensitive youth who sought camaraderie and others to hone their skills with. As this was exactly what Rey felt she needed in her life, she followed.

Little did she know, Kylo and some of the others were still apprentices at a temple led by Luke Skywalker . . .

As time passed being involved with the Knights, Kylo became more of a cult leader. He started talking of traitors as he claimed to want the Knights to serve as a council who would uphold a new ‘peace’ in the universe. The first mission aligned with this purpose was one Rey wouldn’t be ready for.

When they arrived at the temple, the carnage began. Rey couldn’t believe her eyes. At first she froze, but once she spotted Kylo squaring off with Luke, she resisted. In the end, she saved Luke’s life. However, in the process, she was knocked unconscious. When she came to, Luke was gone and she was left without memory of her time before leaving Jakku. After being treated, she returned to the only place she’d known.

During this final recollection, Luke approaches her for the movie’s big heart-to-heart. As he explains to her that her involvement in the Knights doesn’t need to define her, the sounds of ships approach.

The Climax

The Battle of Ahch-To: Poe, Finn, and Phasma

As Phasma forces Finn to watch, the First Order surrounds Ahch-To. Kylo zooms past them and descends on the planet. Phasma berates Finn the whole way, claiming it is his fault his friends are about to die. The ship they are on is rocked as Resistance fighters pour into airspace. They are led by Poe Dameron, who arrives with a re-grouped fleet after placing a tracker on Finn before he deserted. An intense struggle between Phasma and Finn sees Poe sweep in to save the former storm trooper and assists Finn in dispatching of Phasma. Following the fight, Finn and Poe swoop down to Ahch-To.

On Ahch-To, Finn pilots the Millenium Falcon with Chewbacca, rescuing Rey from an overwhelming fight. Once Finn and Poe return to the battle above, the Resistance is becoming overwhelmed, with General Hux’s massive First Order Star Destroyer maintaining the advantage. It is important we finally see how ferocious and evil Hux really is here. A now-more-accountable Poe orders the fleet to retreat, but Leia knows it will not escape with the Destroyer on its tail. So instead of random purple hair lady, here is where Leia promotes Poe to a Commander role before she hyper-speed kamikazes the Destroyer. We see Hux barely escapes the demolished ship, but pretty much everyone else in that MF’er is dead (unlike the movie), because well . . . hyper-speed. This allows the Resistance to escape with the First Order forced to regroup.

After the battle, Finn and Rey finally have a chance to talk, with Rey urging him to understand he has an important role and family in the Resistance. As for Poe, following a successful counter-offensive which saw the fall of Captain Phasma and rescue of Rey, his promotion would represent growth from his reckless actions in the beginning.

The Battle of Ahch-To: Luke, Kylo, and Rey

Prior to Finn’s retrieval of Rey, Kylo lands on Luke’s island flanked by the Knights of Ren. Luke tosses Rey a green lightsaber. The ensuing battle between them unfolds before the backdrop of the fight above. It is a particularly emotional one for Rey, facing off against who she now knows to be her former Knights. As the Knights start to fall in a battle of sabers and force abilities, she recalls their faces, along with a message from Luke’s training to control her feelings. However, fatigue due to those feelings has already started to setting in.

With Kylo and Rey separated in their own saber battle, Kylo makes her an offer as he gains an edge: her life and the lives of all Resistance fighters will be spared, if she works with him to end both the Sith and Jedi. When he fails to mention Luke’s fate, she knows he intends for him to die as well, so she refuses. An angered Kylo goes to strike her down when Finn (with Chewbacca) and Poe blast him from their ships. Luke orders her to escape as the fate of the Resistance would depend on it. Kylo evaded the shots and joins the remaining Knights to surround Luke as Rey (reluctantly), Finn, Chewbacca, and Poe fly off. Luke is happily left to finish the fight.

The Battle of Ahch-To: Conclusion

Back down on Ahch-To, Luke and Kylo continue to spar when the final Knight falls and Luke evades to the mysterious base of the island (it isn’t stupidly equivalent to the dark side here). As Kylo nervously searches and pains over his mother’s sensed death, Luke’s voice calls to him. It says it’s not to late to make his fallen parents proud. Kylo rejects this idea, questioning Luke about the morality of killing his Knights. Since they were force users too, he ridicules the hypocrisy of the Jedi code. Though Luke tries to explain further he must defend those in need from the dark side and those who turn to it, he is only met with a blind rage. This however, transforms into a drained, emotional moment for Kylo, who asks why then he wasn’t defended. Out of the shadows, Luke appears before him.

What is revealed next as Kylo hurts are the details of his apprenticeship at the temple. Conversations between Luke, Leia, and Han reveal Luke’s uncertainty in the emotional Kylo’s training. As for the parents, Han outright suggests Kylo be removed from training (consistent with his character). Leia believes training should be tempered (consistent with his being less inclined to kill her than his father). He admits to Luke he sensed this and was crushed by it even further. It crushed him to see other less-powerful apprentices advancing quicker than he was. There is pity in Luke, who approaches, trying to encourage him. The effort fails as Kylo darts forward and slashes his saber through his uncle’s pelvis. Luke makes no effort to resist, accepting the blade with grace.

Final scene

Rey encounters Luke. He reaffirms his belief that she is the one who would save the Resistance.When she acknowledges her meager upbringing, he reminds her of his own. It is urgent, he claims, that she let the past be the past. However short their time together, he says it was crucial to give her the training needed to serve as the galaxy’s last hope–the last Jedi. When the weight of it hits her, Luke’s force ghost fades away.

Wow, this was a fun one to write! 🙂 Certainly more fun than The Last Jedi was to watch . . .

Thanks for reading and hope you’re enjoying the Civilands series. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below, feel free to subscribe for more blog updates, and click here for free book giveaways, including best-sellers!

POLL: What did you think of Star Wars Episode 8?

For this post I would really like to see what people thought of Star Wars: ‘The Last Jedi.’ The reviews overall have made it clear this was a divisive movie. I would like to figure out why this is and how you felt about it either way. Did it bring balance to the force? Or is it really time for the Jedi (franchise) to end?

I will soon be posting my own detailed review/re-write of the movie as well in the coming days.

Please respond below with your overall rating of the movie, as well as your degree of Star Wars fan-hood. I’d love to know your detailed thoughts in the comments too!

Star Wars space photo

How would you rate Star Wars: The Last Jedi?
Vote

How would you qualify your Star Wars fan-hood?
Vote

Looking forward to all manner of opinions!

I also greatly appreciate all the love for the Civilands series so far! If you haven’t started and would happen to enjoy free things, click here for your chance at a bunch of free books 🙂

Here’s How the Walking Dead SHOULD End… but Won’t (Opinion)

This is a post that’s been a long time coming. I would say that as much as Breaking Bad, Fargo, and Game of Thrones inspired a love for story-telling within me, so too did The Walking Dead. However, unfortunately it was mostly for the opposite reasons. Now I believe I know how the Walking Dead should end.

Don’t get me wrong, The Walking Dead as a concept is brilliant. A TV series is, in my opinion, a much better fit to capture the extended sequence of events that would play out in a zombie apocalypse than a movie. On top of that, the first couple seasons of the show/comic book had some fantastic themes that I loved.

The Good

  1. Waking up to the end of the world – the thought of being in a coma or some other form of unconsciousness while everything you once knew is changing around you is terrifying. It’s also what immediately drew me in to the story. Not only that, but the marital complications Rick faces are what make for drama at its finest. Now this was all in the comic book, so no credit to the show for trailblazing. But I will say that I actually preferred the mirrored version of this concept in Fear the Walking Dead. In that series, the character instead wakes up from a heroine binge. To me that managed to make for an even more intriguing start–and that’s before you consider its incredible portrayal by actor Frank Dillane.
  2. Group conflict and the question of trust – this point should be mentioned with an asterisk because it’s also one of the downfalls of the show. Initially though, the idea of factions is a really cool one. It may or may not be popular opinion, but I thought the Governor’s conflict especially was very well done. To me he was a very real character, who contrasted Rick but only enough to clarify a protagonist. At times, this struggle blurred the line between man v. man and man v. himself as Rick desperately tried to maintain the humanity the Governor lost. There are other examples of course, but this was the one I thought the most well done.
  3. “I know the solution” *fingers crossed behind back* – another point I’m up and down about, but in terms of character motivation it’s cool to see characters who lie about having information on the source-of or solution-to the outbreak. It seems a realistic concern and the series did a good job of developing the situations where this issue arose.
  4. Ragtag group of diverse allies – the fact that people from all different walks of life and with different skill-sets are forced to come together is definitely a strong point of the show. The bonding between them is what makes it run, especially for the characters who have been there from the beginning.

Okay, now that I’ve pleased the people who’ve managed to remain rabid fans of this downhill mess of a show, it’s time to tear it to shreds. Sorry that I’m not sorry ahead of time . . .

The Bad

  1. The writers think kids are idiots – the children in both TWD and FtWD make decisions that are unfathomable in many instances. At times it really seemed like the characters’ intent to screw their own people over just because they were going through puberty was even greater than the writers’ intent to create drama in the plot. And I understand they are young and would make mistakes, but in an apocalypse those mistakes should be more out of fear than being spoiled brats.
  2. Endless groups of “main” antagonists – in terms of the comic book, this is understandable and fine. The comic can go on for hundreds of issues and different types of groups makes sense. That being said, for the TV show I’m just lost as to why I should still be investing in someone like Neagan this late in the series. Not only does this clown lose an entire dimension of his character without the R-rated language of the comics, but it just doesn’t feel different enough from the Governor, or as emotional… more on why that is in my final point.
  3. The zombies are not a really significant threat – they just aren’t on the show. It’s way too easy to kill them for these people and their close calls seem mostly forced.
  4. There is no real backstory on the breakout – to me a zombie story needs a “how did this start” and “how will this be cured.” Over 8 seasons there’s been zero hint of either. While I do like that their are liars who pretend to know the answers, there needs to also be more to explain why this is happening. Also, a tremendous downfall of this writing is how many holes there are in the outbreak science. Here’s a tip people: you already discovered that wearing blood hides you from the walkers, SO WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU ALWAYS WEARING BLOOD?!? Because it would be the end of the series? Then don’t introduce the concept at all!! >:( Also, Michonne’s original plan seemed to solve that issue too, but somehow no one thinks to take advantage of that kind of knowledge?
  5. Dale – every interaction attempted-old-sage, actual-drama-queen Dale has ever had: “Character X, what’s your plan?” … *ridiculous uncertain face* … next scene with character Y, in confidence … “Hey Character Y, did you hear Character X’s plan? What are they thinking? They clearly are out of their mind.” … *ridiculous worried face, same as ridiculous uncertain face* … “Oh, do I have a plan you ask? Uh, no.” … next scene with character Z, in confidence … “Hey Character Z, isn’t character Y out of their mind?”
  6. Last but actually the most significant, poorly executed cliffhangers – cliffhangers–when done right–can be the focal point of a show. The Neagan bat scene cliffhanger was the worst execution of this concept I think I’ve ever seen. I won’t even go into all that was wrong with it because it’d take an entire separate post. Nevertheless, this was an atrocious slap in the face to fans and I haven’t seen an episode since.

So like I said, this show is a big reason I got into writing. The reason being that I looked at all these things that bothered me about it and said to myself, “who the hell am I to criticize without coming up with some kind of better solution?” Well, the following is my solution. Keep in mind while reading, I am mostly saying that this is the direction I believe the show should have gone around the time of season 5/6 and it is based on where the writers had taken it to that point. If you don’t like it, that’s fair and if you’d like, feel free to question my judgement endlessly like that piece of shit Dale.

How The Walking Dead SHOULD End…

The zombies are no real threat and it feels like their importance decreases as the show goes on (issue #3). This should be made into an advantage. Starting with season 5 or 6, the zombies should decrease in airtime. Before the final war between Rick and Neagan begins, they should be nowhere to be found.

Why?

Because TWD has taken the stance that the biggest threat to humanity is humanity itself (issue #2). This a great theme, but it needs to end somewhere to avoid the repetition the show now suffers from. So end it with the biggest, baddest villain of them all–we’ll keep it as Neagan for the sake of it–facing off with a man who has by now become something he never wanted to become in Rick. This will allow us to actually understand more of why the villains do what they do, by blurring the line of compare/contrast with Rick.

Side note: also, don’t waste an entire season (looking at you, season 6 writers) building up to a memorable scene from the comics that you don’t even show (issue #6). Did I mention how infuriated that made me? -_-

Okay so Rick and Neagan have made it all about killing each other and there are no zombies . . . now what?

Now they fight to the death like everyone wants–especially the show’s writers because that’d be, “totally epic and cyoo” (Eric Cartman voice). And it would be, except the war to end all wars should result in the deaths of everyone. Everyone, that is, except the two of them. There needs to be consequences for the fact that neither of these leaders can be competent or reasonable. It’s the zombie apocalypse and they can’t work out a deal? Not saying it would be easy to do, but neither deserves to get away with it. Especially since they are too blind to see how little of a threat the zombies even are. If I had it my way, by now they wouldn’t be a threat at all.

So they all just . . . die?

Yes, they all die and Rick/Neagan will have to live with that. The twist will be when the fighting ends and the two realize what they’ve done. At this time, the U.S. military will be sweeping the area. The commanding officer will be as shocked by the carnage as the culprits are to see a functioning military unit. When Rick tries to get some kind of explanation, he will be told of the discovered origin of the virus. A casual revelation the last traces of said virus were wiped out over a year ago will follow (issue #4). This would be a shocking, yet satisfying ending which would make sense with the direction previously established by the series.

Also, the good news is Dale was already dead (issue #5). The dumb kids already written would be too (issue #1). All-in-all there would still be a glint of hope. That is, as long as likable people and more intelligent children filled this new world.

Conclusion

This has been my light-hearted, though also honest opinion on The Walking Dead. Overall, TWD is one of the most popular shows of all time. I know there are dedicated fans of the comics and show. I’m also aware they’d defend it to their grave (which they likely hope to one day rise from). The good thing about art though, is it’s fair to interpret it from a subjective lens. So thanks ahead of time for respecting my opinion as much as I respect yours if you disagree.

I appreciate the read and hope you’re enjoying the Civilands series! 🙂

Jeannie’s Song: When the Shadows Run

Today is a HUGE day!!!! I am so thrilled and proud to say that you can now find below a full, extended version of the song “When the Shadows Run,” which Jeannie Morrell sings to herself in chapter 3 of Crimson River!

I never would have thought that I’d be able to blend my love with music with my newfound love of story-telling, so it brings me great joy to have been able to put this together.

Hope you like it and hope you’re enjoying the Civilands series!

 

Verse 1

:

When you sound the call, with spirit true,

I swear I’ll hear that sound in you.

And when you run, with a head and a start,

From shadows that would break your heart,

My love you’ll see my light shine through,

Those shadows chasing after you.

So even when the black night hums,

Still don’t look back, the sun will come.

No don’t look back, the sun will come.

Chorus 1

:

What you’ve seen, see once again

You will find, find what you’re missing

And the voice that I’ve left will be heard with the songs of the wind.

Still won’t leave you then.

Verse 2

:

Will you focus up, ignore their stares?

Watching from the trees, they’re so unaware.

The forest calls, the river coos

Inside you have an answer too

My love this storm will, dissipate

A hurricane you’ll anticipate

So even when you hear thunder’s drums,

Still don’t look back, the sun will come.

No don’t look back, the sun will come.

Chorus 2

:

What you’ve seen, see once again

You will find, find what you’re missing

And the voice that I’ve left will be heard with the songs of the wind.

All the time, time that we spend

Making sense, of what we’re given

May you break down the dam, let it bleed so the healing begins

Still won’t leave you then.

Outro

:

So even when the black night hums,

Still don’t look back, the sun will come.

No don’t look back, the sun will come.